Truth

Are you committed to seeking and finding the truth even if that truth is not what you wanted to hear?

The man I was married to was more interested in perpetrating a facade than living the truth, with lies to himself and others. It was when I wouldn’t line up with those lies that we ran into trouble.

He currently lives alone in another country where the people he surrounds himself with have no idea who he really is; they are vulnerable to whatever he tells them.

When our daughter went for a visit, he actually briefed her on what she could and could not reveal. She was instructed to speak according to his lies, not the truth. The visit did not go well.

When people begin to see beyond the facade, he moves on to a new place and a new set of people, leaving behind authentic relationship and accountability.

Seeking and finding the truth even if that truth is not what you wanted to hear is difficult at best. Living a lie unto yourself and others is worse.

Seek truth.

Based on:
Love Your God With All Your Mind
Pages:106-107

It Takes Two to Tango

I’ll bet if you haven’t heard that by now, you’ve surely heard, “There are two sides to every story.”

Generally, that is true, but in the case of a controlling and abusive husband, I beg to differ.

Watching Dancing With the Stars one night, the thought came to me, “What would happen if Partner-A were to suddenly change course and do everything they could do to trip Partner-B up? Not that Partner-B had done anything wrong, but purely out of a psychotic condition of Partner-A?”

Continuing that thought, what if Partner-A were to stop dancing altogether, refuse counsel, refuse help, and walk away? Can two tango when one refuses?

As I thought about it I realized my husband had never really committed to the dance of our marriage. Because of a psychotic misogyny and narcissism, he took pleasure not in dancing with me but in abusively controlling and tripping me up. When I began to call him on it, he refused to dance altogether and walked away from our marriage despite all the help and counsel that was offered.

As I grieve over the loss of what should have been a good marriage-dance, I realize that in refusing to dance with me, he was also refusing to dance with God. Between God and my husband, are there two sides to that story? Or the failure of one who refuses to dance…